Honesty, Confidence and 'Peer Pressure'

This is a post I have been meaning to write for a while now and as I am finally finishing college I figured this is as good a time as any.

I have never been a confident person but for some reason when I started college I started to crawl back into myself even more. I kept to my close friendship group and didn’t talk to many people in my classes. I don’t regret this exactly because, although I don’t have a thriving social life or people begging for my number, I do have some of the loveliest friends who I can count on for anything.

Over the past two years I have started to realise that unless you put yourself out there you are never going to get noticed, I personally would rather not be the centre of attention however I do feel my ‘social awkwardness’ is getting too much. I say ‘social awkwardness’ because it is the only way I can think to explain it. A lot of the time I make excuses not to go out with friends because I feel I don’t actually fit in or that I’m just going to ruin everyone else’s fun, and when I do actually go out I often have to force myself to actually go. I find it hard to talk to new people and worry about what they are going to think of me and therefore because of this I rarely talk to people outside of my friendship group and when I do I always manage to embarrass myself of make the other person feel awkward (hence why I don’t talk to many people in classes).

Although I am probably a prime target for all kinds of peer pressure and bullying etc I have never been a victim of it and I think this is because I stick to what I believe in and know that no matter how hard anyone tries to change the way I am, at the end of the day it is my life and I am the only one who can control it. I try to put a front on where it seems like I don’t care what people think of me when in all honesty I do care, who doesn’t? But 90% of the time I just come across as a snotty, spoilt brat.

So I have decided that if I ever want to get anywhere in life I have to start ‘putting myself out there’. I say this all the time but I’ve realised, for anyone else to see you as who you are you need to be completely sure of it yourself (cheesy I know).

As I said before I have wanted to do a blog post about this for quite a while now I just didn’t know how to put my thoughts into words – I still don’t, which is shown by the way this probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me – but a video from a youtuber called ‘DeeFizzy’ was definitely the final push for me to write it. Damon, like every young person, struggles with confidence issues yet he has still made something of himself and pushes himself to be as happy as he can be. I have put his video below for anyone who reads this to watch. There won’t be many readers but I want those who do read it to realise that no matter what their problems with themselves are that everyone goes through tough times and no one is completely happy with themselves. The only way to get by in life and to be happy is to accept yourself for who you are and if you aren’t happy with that then make changes but make sure these are only for you and not influenced by anyone else.

Spring Playlist

 

Recently I have been listening to a lot of different artists I have never listened to before. Usually I stick to smaller bands with a slight pop rock vibe, and not necessarily 'new' music either. However lately I feel I have been more open to different genres. So here is what has been added to my Spring playlist this month!

 

- Firstly I have been listening to Imagine Dragon's album 'Night Visions' on replay for about a week now! I feel this album is the perfect music to have in the background whilst working. I had my mock exams last week and whilst revising I can't sit in silence, so as I was doing my last minute preparations and revision I had this album on. My favourite track is 'Bleeding out', I'm not quite sure why this song stands out so much to me, it might be something to do with the lead vocalist's voice in this specific song as I tend to enjoy music much more when the vocals are so raw.

 

- Another album I have been enjoying recently is Bastille's album 'Bad Blood'. My psychology teacher has a habit of playing music whilst we are working, and although this can get annoying when its one of her 'chill out' albums I am grateful she played this one! Obviously I had already heard the bands famous 'Pompeii' which in my opinion, although a great and catchy song, it was over played, however this album proved to be worth the hype and is definitely worth a listen.

 

- Lastly is a band called Emblem3. The American trio were contestants on The X Factor USA, and originally I didn't have an opinion on them as I had only seen one performance on TV. However a friend of mine sent me a link to their audition song and I instantly fell in love with their unique sound which Drew describes as 'feel good, real musicianship'. Although their first album contains some extreme pop elements (which is only to be expected after being signed by such a big label), their originals such as 'Curious' and 'Riptide' along with covers such as 'Santeria' and 'Indigo' express their impressive musical ability. Another thing which instantly captured me was their free spirited personalities. These boys are definitely world-smart and this shows through in their deep and meaningful lyrics which anyone can relate to.

5 Seconds of Summer gig!

 

So last Tuesday (The 25th February) I braved the wind and rain and stood outside The Ritz in Manchester for seven long hours to see the band '5 Seconds of Summer'. I don't regret my decision to stand outside for that long, as the gig was completely standing and being my height, I need to be near the front to be able to see!

 

5 Seconds of Summer are an Australian band who originally started  out by posting covers and original songs on youtube, from here they got noticed by One Direction and have since toured the world! I have been a fan since their 'pink speaker days' and can honestly say I feel like I have seen these boys grow up. They have inspired me to follow my dreams, as cliché as it sounds, as they are my age and have achieved so much in such a short space of time.

 

Whilst sitting outside I tried to avoid the amused stares from the locals by attempting to revise for my Psychology exam which I had only two days later, however this didn't work as only five minutes into my revision the heavens opened and down came the rain. Luckily I remembered an umbrella, and although sitting on a freezing cold concrete floor in the rain isn't my idea of a fun activity, having that umbrella saved me from having a frizzy mess of hair and actually provided us with some insulation!

 

So after numerous hot drink runs, toilet breaks and an extremely appreciated pizza express the doors finally opened at 7pm! Walking through the foyer I literally felt my heart jump, I was finally going to see the boys in their own headlining concert for the first time! We managed to bag a pretty good area to stand in, however as more people filed in I realised there was no way I could cope with being pushed around for the next few hours by the hundreds of fangirls, so instead we went onto the balcony where it seemed the fans more our age had decided to congregate.

 

After the short set by the support act Mike Dignam (which was surprisingly good, his drummer has a constant smile on his face - I swear he's the happiest man I've ever seen!) the lights finally dimmed and on came Luke, Ashton, Michael and Calum.

 

Although the majority of the gig is a complete blur in my mind, the one thing I can remember is how much all four of these boys put into their music - my point proven by Ashton managing to break his drums during the first verse of a song! You could see how much music means to each of them by the way they jump around stage, not missing a single note. At one point Luke had to stop singing to take a minute just to look out into the crowd and see how many people supported them, I may have had slightly watery eyes at this part! The excitement and admiration was obvious on every single audience members face throughout the entire set and didn't leave even whilst we were pushing through the crowds in an attempt to leave!

 

The main thing I noticed throughout the day was how welcoming and friendly 5SOS fans are. I have been to numerous gigs like this where fans aren't even able to look at each other without looking like they wanted a fight. I'm not one to get sucked into fandoms so I had an idea in my head that all fans were obsessive and possessive, however this idea completely left my head as soon as everyone around me started to sing together and talk as if we had known each other for years, just minutes after I joined the line! It was as if (as cheesy as this may sound) these four boys from Australia had managed to get hundreds of people to bond over one thing; music.

 

I sincerely hope 5 Seconds of Summer have a long and successful career in the industry. And to all those fans out there who haven't yet had the change to see these boys live, stay positive and don't give up! Having tried for years to see them, I know it gets frustrating, but the wait is 100% worth it! I have been to many gigs and this is by far up there with the best!

 

Emily x

I never realised how much more work A2 is compared to AS and GCSE! I've literally not stopped working these past few weeks, it will be worth it though...hopefully! So I have come to the conclusion that I will probably only be able to write blog posts about once a week.
     For the past few Saturdays I have been visiting different Universities for the open days and have only become more confused! I adore a certain University Campus, it is in the middle of a major city which is a massive bonus for me as I have always wanted to live in a city however I am not 100% sure the course is for me yet. On the other hand I have found an AMAZING course which is a joint honours in two subjects I would love to study, however I don't really like the Campus as it is in the middle of nowhere.
     Although these University open days have only made me more confused I am so proud of myself for going to them as visiting a new place with hundreds if not thousands of new people is very much out of my comfort zone. I'm not saying I have social anxiety or anything but it takes me a lot of persuading to do something new, however I usually push myself to do it as I know the feeling I get after doing it is the best feeling ever. For example for three years I went to summer camps with a couple of my friends. The car journey there was horrible each time, I felt literally sick to my stomach with nerves but as soon as I get there I am absolutely fine and enjoy everything about them. I think the reason I am like this is because I feel everyone judges everyone wherever I go, which is probably not true at all. It's not that I want everyone to like me because that would be impossible, its just more that I would like people to get to know me before making a judgement based on how I look/dress etc.
     Judging people is one thing I don't understand. Why do people feel the need to automatically make assumptions about someone as soon as they see them? In my opinion talking to new people is interesting. Obviously not everyone's personalities mix well and some do clash, however surely it's better trying to get to know someone and giving them a chance rather than just judging.
     All I'm saying is maybe if people were less judgmental then people might find it easier to be themselves and be able to go to new places and experience new things without having to worry.

Hey!
So this is that first awkward blog post everyone has to do but has no idea what to say.
Basically I decided to start this blog because hopefully in September I will be starting a course at University about Journalism and Marketing, however I currently have minimum experience in the journalism side of it.
I have always been interested in writing and as a child I used to write my own stories, but it's safe to say they weren't exactly the best. I feel journalism is gradually becoming more and more diverse with all of the different ways it is used and would love to be a part of this community.
Starting a blog is an idea I have been toying with for a long time now but have only just decided to give a try. I am hoping this not only help me discover my own style of writing but help me build more confidence in this area of the business.
Hopefully I will become more used to this whole blogging thing quickly and will be able to keep ontop of this page!
Thankyou!